Anyone split from a dear friend but worried they had narcissistic &scary traits? jenkatma: I still love my partner but felt his sneaky side was so scary- even if he explained that he likes to avoid conflict so would lie -it sure seemed to be fed by narcissism or did I over-react to a highly sensitive sweet guy that needed to lie to find calm and worry of others reactions- I really felt crazy that he would be such a smooth-talker and so when I would bust him it was always obvious that he had been battered before by dominating women and so then explained his avoidance of conflict- BUT why lie? Maybe he always lied and thought of his own sneakyness as clever around females and this is the way I saw it and left after 12 yrs.... anyone have similar situation?
Re: Anyone split from a dear friend but worried they had narcissistic &scary tra charmed: I had a similar experience with my ex-bf of nearly two years.
He seemed to be so honorable, so moral, but a few times I found out about some things that were questionable. Nothing terrible, but suspicious. It was obvious that he was extremely uncomfortable, even though I confronted him calmly and tactfully. Even though he remained calm, in tone, and never angered, I could tell he was lying. Why did he lie? I'm not sure, but I am sure that being confronted or busted made him very fearful. I also eventually found him to be a bit sneaky, but with small things. I"ve never figured this out because I know he wanted me to trust him.
I also noticed that it was as if he had ready made answers for EVERYTHING and they were top-notch, very believable IF I didn't know better.
I feel a person lies for a few different reasons...
1. they lie for self-preservation
2. they lie to alleviate hurting others
3. they lie because of past experiences that have had a negative impact, such as a child getting beat when they lied
and there are those we never figure out LOL
`charmed