Carrying The Past tommylee123: Hi all I have been serperated from my wife since july 2 2005,she carried her bad past into our marrage,for 13 year as long as i've known her, she couldn't deal with it alot of times, it was so hard to deal with it and us guys learn to acept it,but it hurt me so much i left her,so now she misses me so much and i've went back so many times and she would be confused didn't know what she wanted,so i learned on here to go with the no contact concept,i'm trying to talk to her about going into some kind of help group
to get that wieght lifted off,i hope she does because i love her so M.
she called crying on the phone i want to be with her so bad,is this the right thing to do or just fallow my hart? thanx all you have been a great source of help :)
Re: Carrying The Past mrlament: follow your heart. trust your instincts...
Re: Carrying The Past Samarra: Yup....I've gotta agree with that. Your instincts in this case won't let you down.
She'll just continue bringing her confusion and pain into ANY relationship if she doesn't deal with it.....it's best to let her do this alone.
Re: Carrying The Past iknowwhatiwant: I really don't know how you put up with the dark negativity for 13 years - people carrying their past dramas with them are soul destroying to others around them!
I just split with my boyfriend yesterday for the same reasons; we split up over 6 months ago when I experienced an emotional paranoid outburst of abuse at me for no reason.
I let him in my life again after 6 months and thought he had changed. Everything was going well then, I forgave him and, bang, he said he wants to be with me and loves every minute of it though can commit right now and that he feels awful about what had happened in our past. I'm freakin confused - he doesn’t want anyone else and has not got anyone else in his life.
I said that I'm not willing to have him in my life if he continues to carry the fears and negative beliefs that hold him back from creating new situations and experiences he could have in his life. And that he can only change his behavior by challenging his negative thoughts.
Today I hate him and think he is very weak, pessimistic and negative. Seriously I think they're depressed people!
I don't need this in my life and will not tolerate negative and pessimistic people who only bring sorrow to your life with their own crap.
There are a lot of happy people out there who I would rather be with and don’t have to teach them to be happy and positive.
Move on – and let her sook about her past that she is dwelling on – she doesn’t realize what she has got now!
If they don’t know what they want, they don’t know what they’ve got!