just wants whats fair sswan007: Here is my question to you--- Canadian citizen - province Alberta - my husband asked me for a divorce Oct 25-04, now we are down to going to court. Married 14 years.
We have a house appraised at $210,000, $40,000 is equity,
He took the motor home with loan payment of $40,000., boat clear and free value $10,000, $60,000 in RRSP's and his pension from the union of approx $12,000
I took the time share value $8,000, plus would get 1/2 of the equity which is $20,000
I have a lung condition for the last 5 yrs and progressing getting worse as the years go on.
He took me from a condo (which I owned outright before I even knew him- but put his name on the title after we got married for some business adventures and this is where the mortgage came in) where the mtg was only $600/month and moved us into the new house for payments of $1250/month. then left - due to the fact of being nagging and wanting to hang onto money so we dont end up in bankrupcy again, as we previously did, due to living not beyond our means, but spent the money as fast as it came in, and then he lost his job, as he likes to spend the money- makes good money as he is an electrician. I have worked through the marriage. He had a period of approx 2 years where he did not work or contribute to the financial end of the marriage.
He does not want to pay spousal support, but will let me live in the house and he will make the mortgage payments but have my name removed off the title of the house. If something happened to him and he was killed- whoever he has in his will, will get to have the house, and could tell me to move out.
I am insisting that my name stays on the title of the house.
So we are looking at going to court... what do you think my chances are in the judge saying that he would have to leave my name on the title, and for him to pay the mortgage and or spousal support.
He has now quit his job as an electrician as his income was in excess of $130,000. a year, but is doing renovations and making good money at this as well, my income is less than $30,000.
I just want things to be fair and this certainly does not seem fair to me.
Re: just wants whats fair charmed: I am not familiar with Canadian divorce law, so I'll give some general advice.
My husband tried many intimidation tactics - told me what HE was going to get, what he was going to take away. One day I woke up and wondered why I was listening to him LOL He wasn't the judge and couldn't change the law.
Often there is one spouse that starts spewing out the mouth with what they are going to do. #1 lesson - don't listen UNLESS they can negotiate in a rational and fair manner. I enlisted a lawyer to defend me because my husband would have never been fair or rational.
The law is the law and unless you negotiate between yourselves or with your lawyers, the judge will come to a settlement based on assets, debts, etc. It is best to negotiate with your lawyers (or between the two of you) before going before the judge. This way a complete stranger isn't deciding what you keep.
I researched my state's divorce law extensively and pretty much knew what to expect before I even hired a laywer. I didn't go in for war, I went in with a level head as to what was reasonable and fair. Emotions are best left on the outside of the courtroom and most judges frown on seeking revenge. They want to deal with facts and settlements.
I wish you the best-
`charmed
Re: just wants whats fair 1st fiddle: I'm still trying to get what is fair. It has been 2 years since the divorce and I've hired a lawyer to try to get back photo's of my kids and personal items. At the time of the divorce he had me convinced that the equity in the house was nill and he was doing me a favor by not taking my retirement..... well I spent months adding it up and went through a couple of lawyers.
I still don't think it is really worth it, I am paying the lawyer more than what the items are worth but I still hope it will show him that he can NOT keep what is mine, no matter how he feels about me. We will see...