Dumped by a lesbian? happier?: Ok, I am really bad at the whole emoticon thing, but I'll try anyhow ::). Basically I am just your average 43 yr old guy, now 2 years into separation, 3 months since divorce (In NY it all takes a long time).
My wife's 2 best friends are "out" lesbians. She swears that she's not, but I am really having ahard time with this. Having 3 "tween" boys doesn't help. My 13 yr old complains to me that he doesn't feel comfortable with my X's relationship with the second friend, who often sleeps over (though not sharing a bed).
My X and I have a good relationship, and I wish I could make things better, so that I could be around for my guys more. And I am having trouble jumping into dating with the cloud of not knowing hanging my head. My X swears she's not, but I am having a hard time believing.
Any advice?? ???
Re: Dumped by a lesbian? charmed: I'm not sure I have any advice that will help, but if she is a lesbian or bi-sexual, there isn't really anything you can do to change it. Either she is or she isn't.
I can certainly understand the emotions involved if you find out this is true. So many questions would resurface and you would probably question your entire marriage.
Also, if this makes your children uncomfortable, that presents another problem. I feel there are some questions to ask yourself. Is she a good mother in general? Do you feel she is bringing any harm to your children, emotionally or otherwise? If so, then this issue needs to be addressed.
You may never get the truth out of her and she may not be ready to "come out of the closet", if indeed your suspicions are true. You can't force her to admit anything, but I would observe your children's behavior and listen to anything they bring up.
I'm a bit confused as to why you are having trouble dating because this is hanging over you head. Do you mean that you fear other women may be hiding a secret such as this? As in, you don't feel you can trust other women? I can certainly see how finding something like this after years of being together would cause great apprehension, but you deserve good in life. In time, I feel you will be able to "step out", but just do it slowly and get to really know a person over time.
I wish you the very best :D
`charmed