The kids loose to Usedup: I am going on 5 months of being divorced, been through all the different Phases. i have read alot of posts that are so close to what i have gone through and still going through.
My ex left for another man (coworker) and i hate her for that and still want to kick his ass he was also married and still going through a bad divorce. My divorce went smooth and i got everything i wanted but the kids.The law favors the women in my state and i didn't stand a chance to get them.
They live together and i have a hard time going there to pick up my son afraid i am going to loose it and do something that i feel i need to do(kick ass) I still have jealousy feelings for her or something even though she has broken my heart.
She now is using his bad luck to make my situation with my son harder by trying to keep my son from seeing me because my son don't like the other guy and wants to live with me.
He is only 4 and don't fully understand why i am not available to him and when he asks his mother that he wants to go to dads she tells him I don't want to hear it and go to your room. She tries to adjust his specified time with me to work to her favor and take away days from me. I guess she thinks by keeping him from me he will like it there more and like me less, but this will never happen we have always been unseprable from the time he was born.I try to see him more than my share of time but she will not let me she says you have it better than most dads so just be happy with what you get. this makes me hate her even more even though i still care for her but have let her go from my heart.
There is no chance for me to ever let her back into my life as my wife, That took a long time to get over and still hurts to the core of my sole.
one post gave them a 10 percent chance I think that is great and hope they both rot in hell for cheating.
Time does heal but i havent had enough yet, we all need to hang on to what we have today and try to make the best of everyday broken hearts mend very slowly but they will heal.
Deception and lies never heal and if your ex has done this to you accept the fact that they will most likley do it again to you or the next poor looser.
Ask yourself if you could ever fully trust them again before you let them back into your life. It will make your recovery a little bit easier but it still hurts like hell to have lost that part of your life you cared so much for
The biggest looser is the children that are not where they want to be I could use any advise if anyone has any to help my son get to where he belongs.
Re: The kids loose to freckles: I dont have any kids with my EX Wife except stepson.
BUT, my Parents Divorced years ago when I was 11
How they did it was diffrent than most nowdays.
They both went thier own way, but they could get along for a hour or two on hollidays, birthdays anytime .
But after the hour or so infrount of us kids even now when I am 44 they would get on each others nerves and leave.
My Dad would even change my moms tire or she would fix him a meal
even though she is remarried.
I guess they went about like brother and sister.
If I were in your shoes(You can do as you want) I would
try to be like that. As a Brother and Sister i don't know if possable in your case. BUT as having had to live it. It would be the Best way for your child.
Re: The kids loose to Alone with 3: The saying is so true, "you get more flys with honey". If you are sweet as pie (and believe me, I'm in a similar situation so I know it's hard) then eventually she will let go of her anger and defensiveness and perhaps be reasonable with you. This won't happen overnight. And all your conversations should start with: "I think it's best for our son that blah, blah, blah....I know you want what is best for him too." Also, remember that the guy she is with now is around your son and his treatment of your son is probably in direct proportion to how he feels about you. If you are civil to him, then that will only help your son. You know if you kick his a**, he will just take that out on your son. Just my opinion, I hope it helps. I totally understand the anger, jealousy, hate and love that you can have for someone all at one time.
Re: The kids loose to Usedup:
I have always tried to be nice when talking to her about our son and have asked her dont you think that he deserves to have as much time with me as possible. I think it makes her more angry.
I will keep trying Thanks
Re: The kids loose to mrlament: my son is two he just left a couple of weeks ago...he lives in Ga. w/his mom..and i guess her boyfriend(she says they dont live toghether-dosent matter) anyway, i miss him so i feel your pain(that used to be a qliche) not any more...anyway i miss him so i wonder who will teach him how to throw a football and stuff like that, always thought i'd be there for every knee scrape, when i mention to my wife that i'm missing each and every day of his life she says "he's only two" like every day dosen't mean something...sorry getting off track. i'll tell you like everyone tells me you gotta make it your buisness to get there- be around him- call him- love him. its up to us, i dont believe in kissing your ex's arse though, you shouldnt have too he' BOTH OF YOUR'S TO LOVE. good luck and i'll try to take my own advice...sooner or latter you'll hear me bitchin about not having access to him. :'(